Joshwana records, summer 2005

Run time: 23 minutes, 29 seconds

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"Interesting" facts:

The song "Prometheus Offers Food to the Martians" was a several minute long impromptu grindcore song which was shortened to 0.15 seconds in order to comply with Joshwana Records' strict 24 minute album maximum policy.

Drummer Michael Waehner broke the high hat dozens of times over the recording, one of which is evident in the end of Cookies are a Sometimes Food. He blames this on the quality of the drum kit.

The album contains three songs which are rehashes of old Puddin Sauce songs, three versions of one song, and one Avril cover. Everything else is pretty much just filler.

Vocalist Josh Salcich had sixteen heart attacks while recording this album. Nine of them are captured in the recordings. Try to guess which.

As of the recording of the album, Waehner had had about twenty minutes of experience behind the drums. He was still better than the previous drummer.

Josh is still reaching for that rainbow.

1. 120 Sec of Nothing

(no lyrics just listen)

(Zach Salcich)

Sunkist, you�re my favorite drink,

Sunkist, make my lips turn orange,

Sunkist, you really make me think,

Oh, Sunkist, nothing rhymes with orange,

Sunkist, Sunkist, Sunkist, Sunkist,

Why don�t you call anymore?

(Zach Salcich)

Cookies are a sometimes food,

If you think this, they�ve brainwashed you,

Cookie Monster, you sold out,

Cookies are not just a treat,

Cookies are something you eat,

Cookie Monster betrayed me,

Cookies are a sometimes food,

Cookies are a sometimes food,

Cookies are an always food

(Joshwa)

Anarchist rich kids, fuck off.

Running around with an A on your back

Anarchist rich kids, fuck off

Get rid of your stupid back patch

(Joshwa)

Shoot your gun

a real fucking man

an innocent animal lay dead

you laugh with its head on your wall

wait until we get our revenge

and piss in your bullet wounds

made by us, the ALF

shoot your gun and aim it at your brain asshole

(Joshwa)

destructions end

and our faithful god

will save us

I guess your god

didn�t help us

because we are all fucked

(Bourns probably)

Hollywood Hollywood

(screaming without words)

(Zach Salcich)

Cookies are a sometimes food,

If you think this, they�ve brainwashed you,

Cookie Monster, you sold out,

Cookie Monster, I loved you,

Cookie Monster how could you?

The last song�s dedicated to you,

Cookies are a sometimes food,

Cookies are a sometimes food,

Cookies are an always food

(Whatever Hollywood shill writes for Avril Lavigne)

He was a boy

She was a girl

Can i make it any more obvious

He was a punk

She did ballet

What more can i say

He wanted her

She'd never tell secretly she wanted him as well

But all of her friends

Stuck up their nose

They had a problem with his baggy clothes

He was a skater boy

She said see you later boy

He wasn't good enough for her

She had a pretty face

But her head was up in space

She needed to come back down to earth

5 years from now

She sits at home

Feeding the baby she's all alone

She turns on tv

Guess who she sees

Skater boy rockin up MTV

She calls up her friends

They already know

And they've all got

Tickets to see his show

She tags along

Stands in the crowd

Looks up at the man that she turned down

He was a skater boy

She said see you later boy

He wasn't good enough for her

Now he's a super star

Slamming on his guitar

Does your pretty face see what he's worth?

He was a skater boy

She said see you later boy

He wasn't good enough for her

Now he's a super star

Slamming on his guitar

Does your pretty face see what he's worth?

Sorry girl but you missed out

Well tough luck that boy's mine now

We are more than just good friends

This is how the story ends

Too bad that you couldn't see,

See the man that boy could be

There is more that meets the eye

I see the soul that is inside

He's just a boy

And I'm just a girl

Can I make it any more obvious

We are in love

Haven't you heard

How we rock each other's world

I'm with the skater boy

I said see you later boy

I'll be back stage after the show

I'll be at the studio

Singing the song we wrote

About a girl you used to know

I'm with the skater boy

I said see you later boy

I'll be back stage after the show

I'll be at the studio

Singing the song we wrote

About a girl you used to know

(Zach Salcich)

I love puddin� sauce,

I eat it daily,

And I eat it very gaily,

I love puddin� sauce,

I love puddin� sauce,

I�d eat it in a shoe,

I�d even eat it with you,

I love puddin� sauce,

Puddin� sauce, I love you,

Puddin� sauce, I wanna fuck you

(Joshwa)

Bow down

to that invisible force

that must punish us all

for all our sins

Bow down

(Zach Salcich)

My lips hurt, oh, my lips hurt, oh,

Where the fuck did my chap stick go?

My lips hurt, oh, my lips hurt, oh,

I can�t even smile anymore,

My lips hurt, oh, my lips hurt, oh,

I found my chap stick a bit a go,

My lips hurt, oh, my lips hurt, oh,

I�ve got seventeen dollars in my wallet

(Zach Salcich)

Cookies are a sometimes food,

If you think this, they�ve brainwashed you,

Cookie Monster, you sold out,

Sometimes I�ll eat chocolate chip,

Sometimes I�ll eat butterscotch,

Sometimes I�ll eat babies,

Cookies are a sometimes food,

Cookies are a sometimes food,

Cookies are an always food

(Zach Salcich)

Bash them all over the head,

Bash them all, they�ll soon be dead,

Just take your trusty 2x4,

You will soon win the war,

Beat those Reds senseless,

Beat those Reds senseless,

Communism only works on paper

(Joshwa)

Kill a racist

Kill a sexist

Kill a homophobe

Repeating lines

Just fuckin read it

And finally understand

we must all come together

and kill all those fuckers

who push ignorance in our face

(Joshwa)

2 for a dollar, ready in 3 minutes

Tastes great

Ode to burrito

(Ghandi)

(no lyrics)

(Zach Salcich)

I hate you, this is true,

I hate you, I�m gonna kill you,

Run you over; stuff you in the trunk,

Then I�ll dump your body in the river,

I hate you

I hate you, this is true,

I hate you, I�m gonna kill you,

Decapitate you with a shovel,

Then I�m going after your family

(no lyrics)

(Joshwa)

Bombs and missles

Are symbols of freedom

Hope is what the world has

But we get a backstab in return

(Joshwa)

Hanging out back by the dumpsters

Taking your food out of it

Drink your 40 oz

and pass out on the ground

and have your mommy come

after you plead �come get me"

(Joshwa)

Chaos all around me

My stomach can�t take it

The structure of the Earth

Is breaking all around me

(Joshwa)

Join the army, grab a gun

I�m sure it will all be fun

Just like those games

that I play at my friends

One shot to their head

and all the fuckers fall dead

too bad you forgot

they played the same games

and now you lie dead

and no one cares

just another patriot

shot in the head

I like potato salad

Zach smells bad

(barnyard noises)

(Joshwa)

Complain about all the abortions

For your precious life movement

But its not like you even want

These new Pro Choice babies

Walking around on your streets

So I say fuck it, just abort it!!!